Men's 1 Rules As Told By Chang Wufei
by Lady Kali' Barton
Summary: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT! ! Please don't kill me.... R&R MINNA! AND TREAT YOU'RE GUYS OR DOLLS RIGHT! Peace minna!


Men's Number One Rules told by Wufei Chang  
  
Wufei: Alright! Finally SOMETHING for the male species!  
  
Karma: [cringing under glares] IT WAS IN A EMAIL! IT JUST REMINDED ME OF WUFIE-CHAN SO MUCH I JUST HADTA WRITE IT! DON'T KILL ME!  
  
Wufei: [smug smile] Hahaa ki ga yowai onna.  
  
*****~~~~~*****~~~~~*****  
  
Wufei: [in announcer type voice] "We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules from OUR side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON  
  
PURPOSE!"  
  
Wufei: "Let's begin..."  
  
[Heero glares at Relena who left the toilet seat up too many times]  
  
Wufei: "1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.  
  
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down."  
  
Heero: "Right on!"  
  
Relena: [glares at Wufei and Heero] "Shut up..."  
  
  
  
[Kismet is glaring at Duo who got her the same diamond earrings AGAIN]  
  
Wufei: "1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not  
  
quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!"  
  
Duo: [glares back at Kis] "Go on bro!"  
  
Kismet: [sticks tongue out]  
  
  
  
Karma: [says sweetly]"Hey Tro-koi...whatcha thinking about?"  
  
Trowa: [blinks] "Uhhh this sandwich I'm going to make?"  
  
Karma: *_* [gets pissed] "You're suppose to say 'YOU HONEY!' " [throws him out of the room]  
  
Wufei: " Tisk, tisk..1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it."  
  
Trowa: [eating a sandwich] "Mmmmhm!"  
  
Karma: [glaring] "Watch it or else I'll stuff that sandwich down you're throat...."  
  
  
  
Quatre: [watching the football game]  
  
Mala: [whisper seductively] "Quatre why don't you come to bed?  
  
Quatre: [whining] "Oh come on darling..it's Sunday...don't I deserve a break?"  
  
Mala: [upset] "Fine why don't you have a break EVERY-DAY!" [throws him a pillow] "You can sleep on the couch tonight!"  
  
Quatre: [jumps at the word 'couch'] "Damnit! And just when the game was getting good.." [sulks upstairs]  
  
Wufei: [snickers] "1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the  
  
changing of the tides. Let it be."  
  
Quatre: [dancing around] "PRAISE ALLAH!"  
  
Mala: [glaring at Wufei] "You do know Meling's going to make you sleep on the couch tonight..."  
  
Wufei: [shake head] "Yeah. But it's worth it!" [laughs insanely]  
  
Karma:[coming in from her day at the spa with her hair cut.well actually SHAVED off] "Hiya hon."  
  
Trowa: [faints]  
  
Wufei: *_* "1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more  
  
attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her."  
  
Trowa: [sobbing] "Why o Why did I marry her?"  
  
Karma: [glares] "WHAT!?" [ slaps him]  
  
Wufei: [cringing] "That's gotta hurt..."  
  
Duo&Heero: [holding on to the car doors while their wives try to pull them into the mall] "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
Kis: [tugging harder] "Oh don't be silly boys.it's just like a football game."  
  
Relena: [doing the same] "Yeah.it's just now instead of a 'touchdown' you can 'dressdown'."  
  
Duo&Heero:[glares at them] "NO WAY!"  
  
Wufei: [laughing from the touchdown thing] "1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way."  
  
Duo: [shaking his head] "Touchdown.dressdown.how does she come up with these things?"  
  
Heero: *_* "I don't know.I just do not know."  
  
Karma: [sobbing 'I Love Lucy'-style] "PLLEEEAAASSEE! Would you please get me that fur coat!?"  
  
Trowa: [cursing in spanish]  
  
Karma: [sobbing louder]  
  
Trowa: [sighs] "Alright already! Aye crumba! I'll get you the damn coat! Just shut up!"  
  
Wufei: [cracking up] "1. Crying is blackmail."  
  
Karma: [happy] "I LOOVVVEE YYOOOUU RICKY!"  
  
Trowa: [rolling his eyes] "Yeah, yeah......"  
  
Mala: [hinting] "Ummm Quatre....there's something in the oven."  
  
Quatre: "Yeah I know."  
  
Mala: [blinking] "You do?"  
  
Quatre: [raising a eyebrow] "Yeah of coarse I do. I just put a chicken in there for dinner."  
  
Mala: [facefalls] " Oh my dear god... I meant there is something in THIS[points to her stomach] oven!"  
  
Quatre: [raising both eyebrows] "Huh?"  
  
Mala: [screams]  
  
Wufei: [ just as confused as Quatre is] "1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!"  
  
Mala: [shouts at both of them] "FINE YOU JUST WANT ME TO SAY IT!? I'M PREGANAT!!!! HAPPY NOW!?"  
  
Quatre&Wufei: [faints] "Maybe not...."  
  
Relena: [subtle trying to tell Heero that this is their 3 yr. Anniversary] "Heero...do you remember are first date?"  
  
Heero: [blanks out] "Ummm sorta?"  
  
Relena: [lets it slip past her] "Well I do...and do you remember what day it was?"  
  
Heero: [gets worried about his safety] "Yeah....umm it was on October 20?" [laughs nervously]  
  
Relena: [growls] "IT was AUGUST 1st AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS?" [DEATHGLARES]  
  
Heero: [cursing him-self] "August 1st?"  
  
Relena: [screams] "HOW COULD YOU FORGET!!!!!" [chases him around their house with a frying pan]  
  
Heero: [doesn't manage to duck in time] WHAP! [massages head]  
  
Relena: [sets up for another one] "You won't forget any-more Mr. Yuy..."  
  
Wufei: [snickers] "I always remember this but just incase you other men out there are bakas, which in this case is HELL YEAH...1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand."  
  
Heero: [holding icepack to his head] "Shut up Chang..."  
  
Relena: [glares at Heero] "YOU of all people should listen to him!"  
  
Heero: [deathglaring Wufei] "Where did I put my gun..."  
  
Kismet: [looking in the mirror] "Du-bear...which pair of shoes would look better with this outfit?" [points to thousands of shoes scatter on the floor]  
  
Duo: [eyes bulging out of their socket] "Umm well the dress is red so maybe those red pumps?"  
  
Kis: [huffs at him] "But you see this black shawl would go just so well and it would require me wearing the black boots!"  
  
Duo:[sighing] "If you don't hurry up we're going to be late for the party!"  
  
Kis: [putting hands on her hips] "I rather be fashionable late then tacky late!"  
  
Duo: [shaking head] "Gods....."  
  
Wufei: " I know the feeling, Duo....1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?"  
  
Duo: "Make that THOUSANDS!!!"  
  
Heero: [scoffs at him] "Please...Relena has at least two pairs of shoes for EVERY outfit she owns!"  
  
Relena: [glares] "Liar...."  
  
Karma: [looking for her favorite book] "Trowa, have you seen my copy of Harry Potter?"  
  
Trowa: [bewilder at the fact she's reading Harry Potter] "Uhhhh yes."  
  
Karma: [raising a eyebrow] "Well where?"  
  
Trowa: [blinks] "Wait I change my answer....no."  
  
Karma: [getting agitated] "Are you sure?"  
  
Trowa: [thinking] "No....wait I mean yes."  
  
Karma: [glaring] "Which one is it?"  
  
Trowa: [backing away from her] "Yes..no no... its no... or maybe it's yes? No it's no...."  
  
Karma: [death glaring him] "YOU ARE NO HELP!!!!"  
  
Wufei: [ laughing at them] "1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question."  
  
Trowa: "You actually read Harry Potter?"  
  
Karma: [looking at him evilly] "Yes.. or is it no?"  
  
Trowa: [glaring] "It won't work."  
  
Karma: [giving him a innocent look] "What won't work?"  
  
Trowa: -_-; "That...that question thing you're doing."  
  
Karma: [ trying to look as innocent as ever] "What question thing?"  
  
Trowa: "Grrrr..."  
  
Karma: "Are you okay? Do you need help of some kind? Would you like me to call for a medic? Maybe you need some more hair gel or something? Or maybe I should call that stripper that was at you're bachelor party? Maybe SHE can do something for you right!?"  
  
Trowa: [death glaring her] "That's IT! [chases her around the house]  
  
Karma: [snickers] "Revenge is sweet!"  
  
Mala: [fumes] "Today at work, the boss says that I can't cook for shit. I mean gods, did he HAVE to be so cruel about it? I told him in the beginning that I couldn't cook Italian that well!"  
  
Quatre: [shaking his head] "Well I kinda agree with him. Last time you tried to cook linguini you.well it wasn't very pretty."  
  
Mala: [glaring at him] "What do you mean 'I kinda agree with him'?"  
  
Quatre: [laughing nervously] "Well I mean that you need some more lesson in cooking that's all."  
  
Mala: [glaring at him] "FINE! HOW ABOUT YOU DO THE COOKING AND CLEANING AND WORK WHILE I GO OUT AND GO TO COOKING SCHOOL!?" Quatre: [glaring back] "I WILL!"  
  
Mala: [in a rage] "WHAT!?" [looks at him in blind angry]  
  
Quatre: [realizing what her just did] "Oh shit.."  
  
Mala: [glowering at him] "Okay...okay since you wanna be Mr High and Mighty.you can sleep on the couch for 3 WEEKS! And DO NOT expect sex from me!"  
  
Quatre: [glares at her] "Fine...I don't care! You told me your problem and I suggested something for you to do about it but since you want to be SUCH A BABY..."  
  
Mala: [ too mad to answer]"....."  
  
Wufei: [wincing at the argument] " You're lucky she didn't throw something at you... 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for."  
  
Quatre: [puts fist in the air] "What! I'm you're HUSBAND not you GILRFRIEND and I tell it like it is!"  
  
Mala: [throws very heavy objects at both of them] "YEAH BUT WHERE'S THE SUPPOT IN THAT HUH! MAYBE I WAS BETTER OFF MARRING THAT YUY-GUY!  
  
Heero: *_* "Please don't bring me in this."  
  
Relena: [glares at him suspiciously] "What does that mean Mr. Yuy?"  
  
Wufei: [weirded out about the whole affair] "Okay...."  
  
Kis: [annoyed at Duo again] "I have a headache."  
  
Duo: [smiling seductively] "Let me take care of it...."  
  
Kis: [faking a migraine] "Uhhh no... In fact this one is going to be another long one...."  
  
Duo: [glares at her] "That's it! You've had a headache for the pass year now...what is up with you?"  
  
Kis: [smiling innocently] "Nothing..."  
  
Duo: [deathglares her] "Yeah right! Every time I want to have sex you get a headache! But when YOU want to it's a different story!"  
  
Kis: "Well maybe I'm just tired of cooking and cleaning after you!"  
  
Duo: [growls] "Whatda ya mean!?"  
  
[Kis and Duo start to argue like old married couples]  
  
Wufei: [shaking his head]"1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Or a marriage consular in this case."  
  
Kis&Duo: "SHUT UP CHANG!"  
  
Wufei: [throws hands in the air] "Don't shot the messenger..."  
  
Karma: [kicks her BMW] "BAKA CAR! When ever I need you to work, you break down!"  
  
Trowa: [comes out of the house] "What's wrong?"  
  
Karma: [points angrily at the car] "IT WON'T WORK!"  
  
Trowa: [sighing] "Did you check you're oil again?"  
  
Karma: [blushes] "Ummm no...."  
  
Wufei:"1. Check your oil! Please. Even though you are weak onnas and wouldn't be able to do it any-way."  
  
Karma:[glares] "Beware Chang.."  
  
Trowa&Wufei:[laughing their heads off]  
  
Relena: [looking at the TV] "Heero, honey I thought you said that you wouldn't put those yucky shows on the Favorite List."  
  
Heero: [looks baffled] "When did I say that?"  
  
Relena: [sighs] "Six months ago when we first got this thing. Remember that big argument over it?"  
  
Heero: [still baffled] "No...."  
  
Relena: "You said that you wouldn't put those yucky man shows on the List and I wouldn't bother you during the games."  
  
Heero: [nods slowly] "Okay."  
  
Relena: [sits there patiently]  
  
Heero: [looks at her] "Is there anything you want me to do?"  
  
Relena: [gives him a 'duh' look] "Take the shows off it."  
  
Heero: [gives her a cold stare] "No."  
  
Relena:[glares] "What?"  
  
Heero: "No."  
  
Relena:[strained smile] "But we compromised..."  
  
Heero: "This is my TV and my house and I do whatever I please."  
  
Relena: [deathglares him] "WHAT!?"  
  
Heero: [stands his ground]  
  
Relena: [eye twitches] "Well since you love the TV so much why don't you sleep with it tonight and the next night AND THE NEXT NIGHT!"  
  
Heero: [raises his voice] "FINE I WILL!"  
  
[both stomp off in the other direction]  
  
Wufei: [blinks] " Wow a fight over the TV.. I usually fight over the bathroom but...1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in anargument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days."  
  
Heero: [nods his head] "You heard that 'Miss I Want The TV All To My- Self'?!  
  
Relena: "Grrrr..."  
  
Duo: [holds up a pair of sheer underwear] "Why don't you wear the bra and panty set I brought you from Victoria's Secret?"  
  
Kismet: [trying to think of a excuse] "Uhhh...I forgot they were in there?"  
  
Duo: [glare] "No you didn't! You just don't want to wear them!"  
  
Kismet: [gives him puppy dog eyes] "But Du-bear...."  
  
Duo: [still glaring] "Oh don't you 'Du-bear' me missy! Since you won't wear the underwear, I won't wear those horrible corduroy pants!"  
  
Kismet: [sniffles] "But Du-bear all the hot soap guys are wearing corduroy!"  
  
Duo: "Then go marry one of them cuz I refuse to wear it until you wear the underwear!"  
  
Wufei: [gives look of disgust] " Corduroy? I wouldn't wear it even if she did wear the underwear! 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys."  
  
[Trowa and Duo stand near the dressing rooms at JC Penny]  
  
Trowa: [looks nervous] "I hate shopping because every-time we go she always asks the same question..."  
  
Duo&Trowa: " 'Does this make me look fat?!' "  
  
Duo: [shushes him] "Here they come man....act cool."  
  
[both of them lean back on the wall outside the dressing rooms]  
  
Karma: [spins around in a blue dress] "Oh Trowa! How does it look on me?"  
  
Trowa: [in a cool voice] "Looks great on only you hon."  
  
Kismet: [twirls around in a pair of red jeans] "How do I look Du-bear?"  
  
Duo: [gives her thumbs up] "That model has nothing on you!"  
  
[the girls go back into the dressing rooms]  
  
Trowa&Duo: [sighs] "They didn't ask the question!" [high five each other] "YESSS!"  
  
[Karma and Kismet comes out in their regular cloths]  
  
Karma: [blinks at Trowa sweetly] "Did those cloths make me look fat?" Kismet: [does the same] "Yeah Du-bear?"  
  
Trowa: *_* "Uhhh...."  
  
Duo: -_- "Shit.."  
  
Wufei: [snickers] " Hahaaaa! You thought you were off the hook! 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer."  
  
Karma&Kismet: [glares at Wufei] "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT YOU PROBABLY ARE' HUH!"  
  
Karma: [gives him the evil eye] "And you kiss you're wife with that mouth?"  
  
Kismet: [being restrained by Duo] "Just what till I find Meling! I'm going to kill you if she doesn't!"  
  
Wufei: [ looks at all the angry fan girls out there] "You'll have to wait you turn....*gulp*"  
  
[Quatre and Mala coming back from Relena's baby shower]  
  
Mala: [fretting about the gift she gave] "I hope Relena likes what I got her."  
  
Quatre: [comforting her] "Don't worry. I'm sure you're the only person to give her that."  
  
Mala:[blinks] "I thought a pacifier/bottle would be useful."  
  
Quatre: "Of coarse it is but it is very...unique."  
  
Mala: [sniffles] "If you thought it was weird the why didn't you tell me!?"  
  
Quatre: [confused] "I didn't mean 'werid' I meant- "  
  
Mala: [cuts him off] "STUPID!?" [crying] "Thanks a lot Quatre! Now Relena'll think I'M stupid!" [runs into their house]  
  
Quatre: [runs after her] "No I didn't mean...oh man!"  
  
Wufei: [shakes his head] "1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one."  
  
Mala: [looks at Quatre] "Really? You mean 'unique' in a nice way?"  
  
Quatre: [takes her into his arms] "Of coarse I did. I would never want to hurt you're feelings."  
  
Everyone: ^___^ "Awwwwwww shucks!"  
  
[Duo is walking down the street with Kismet on his arm when a hot chick with a tight strapless dress comes walking past]  
  
Duo: [staring intensely] "Uhhhh.."  
  
Kismet: [deathglares both of them] "GO HOME YOU FAKE BOOBED HUSSY!"  
  
Woman: [gets angry] "Who are you like talking to?"  
  
Kismet: [glares] "You Barbie! Now take you're dumb-ass some-were else!"  
  
Woman: [stalks away]  
  
Duo: [hides face] "Why me? Why me?"  
  
Kismet: [pulls him along] "If you weren't undressing her with her eyes I wouldn't had to do that!"  
  
Wufei: -_-" 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic."  
  
Kismet: [grabs Duo&Wufei's ear] "You look at another woman while me and Meling are alive we'll rip you eyes outta their sockets!"  
  
Duo&Wufei: [wincing in pain] "Yes sir!"  
  
Kismet: "Grr..."  
  
[Relena and Heero are painting their room]  
  
Relena: [hands Heero the brush] "Okay.I'll paint this side of the room and you do the other."  
  
Heero: [smiles playfully] "Mission accepted."  
  
Relena: [laughs and rolls her eyes]  
  
[A few minutes later....]  
  
Relena: [watches Heero paint] "Ummm Heero....?"  
  
Heero: [glares] "I'm painting sideways like you wanted....what is it now?"  
  
Relena: "I think it would be better if it was straight up."  
  
Heero:[angry] "How about this?" [throws paint on her]  
  
Relena: [glares and throws a glop of paint at him] "How about that!"  
  
[The two have a paint war]  
  
Relena:[standing in the middle of the room with Heero] "Missed a spot." [paints her nose]  
  
Heero: [laughs] "And what a cute spot it is."  
  
Relena: [looks at the splashs of paint on the wall] "I think this is pretty. I always wanted a modern look in the room."  
  
Heero: [blinks] "This is very, VERY different."  
  
Relena: [wraps her arms around him] "We're very, very different, remember?"  
  
Heero: [kisses her]  
  
Wufei: [gags] "That was like some bad romantic comedy.1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself."  
  
[The guys watching Sunday Night Football]  
  
Kis&Duo: "GOOOOOO GIANTS!!!!  
  
Trowa&Karma: "GOOOOOO RAVENS!"  
  
Quatre&Mala: "GOOOOOO BOTH!"  
  
Kis, Karma,Trowa,&Duo: [raise eyebrows]  
  
Quatre: "We think that both teams are great!"  
  
Heero: [rolls his eyes] "I think both teams sucks..." [gets hit by pillows]  
  
Duo: "Shut up the games on!"  
  
[Relena comes in with popcorn]  
  
Relena: "Does anybody want-"  
  
Every-one: "Shhhsss!"  
  
Relena: "I just wanted to know if you wanted any-thing to drink!"  
  
Every-one: "Shut up!"  
  
Relena: [glares] "FINE! I'll just-" [gets bombarded with pillows]  
  
Wufei: [shakes head] "1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials."  
  
[Duo and Kis trying to get to Relena's]  
  
Kis: [noticing that their lost] "Duo...you should have taken that last exit."  
  
Duo: [angry] "I KNOW where I'm going, sweetheart. So just relax."  
  
Kis: [looks around at the dense forest and dirt road] "This is NOT the way to Relena's mansion. It was the last exit!"  
  
Duo: [glares] "I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING!"  
  
Kis: [sees a gas station] "Pull in there and ask for some directions!"  
  
Duo: "WHY!?"  
  
Kis: [deathglares] "NOW!" [pushing him out the car]  
  
Duo: [brushing him-self off] "I don't need any help..."  
  
[Duo goes in the mart. Its dark except for the candle floating in the air. A man is turned around facing the wall.]  
  
Duo: [raises a eyebrow, not noticing the candle above him *_*] "Excuse me?"  
  
Man: [mumbles] "Thirty-five years....I killed a man with a flat tire....  
  
Duo: [blinks] "What? I just want to know where the Peacecraft mansion is?"  
  
Man: [still mumbling] "Now it's you're turn...." [laughs evilly and turns around to show his disfigure, gruesome face]  
  
Duo: [screams like a girl] "NEVERMIND!"[runs back to the car]  
  
Kis: [raises a eyebrow] "What the matter?"  
  
Duo: [steps on the gas] "You were right....it was the last exit."  
  
Kis: [smiles smugly] "Told ya. That wasn't so bad was it?"  
  
Duo: [deathglares her] "That was HORRIBLE! We're getting a road map!"  
  
Wufei: [cringes] " This is husband abuse...1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we."  
  
[Relena and Heero are in bed.and NOTHING MORE HENTAIS! -_-;]  
  
Heero: [falling asleep]  
  
Relena: [shakes him] "Heero why don't you hold me any-more?"  
  
Heero: [glares] "Because..I'm tired and we've spent the whole day cuddling. I'm exhausted okay?"  
  
Relena: [sniffles] "But Heero.....you always did that when we were first married..."  
  
Heero: [sighs] "Well now I'm tired."  
  
Relena: [sniffles more] "All my friends say that you don't love me like you use to."  
  
Heero: [sighs deeper] "You're friends don't know anything. I still love you like I use to."  
  
Relena: [puppy eyes] "Then you'll hold me?"  
  
Heero: [turns over, facing away from her] "No. I'm tired for the millionth time."  
  
Relena: [sobs] "YOU DON'T LOVE ME!"  
  
Heero: [puts pillow on top of his head] "Why me?"  
  
Wufei: [nods head in remembrance]"I get that too Yuy.1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends."  
  
[Mala going over colors for the baby room]  
  
Mala: [calls Quatre over] "How about apricot and golden apple?"  
  
Quatre: [not knowing what she's talking about] "You want a apricot and apple?"  
  
Mala: [laughs] "No silly. These are the colors I think the baby's room should be."  
  
Quatre: *_* "Okay.."  
  
Wufei: [raises a eyebrow] " What colors are those? 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, and apricot for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is."  
  
Wufei:[snickers] "This one goes without example..1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that."  
  
Karma: [pouting] "I wanted the sapphire necklace, not the EMRALD one!"  
  
Trowa: [confused] "But you were looking at that one!"  
  
Karma: [sniffles] "I was looking at that but I asked the saleswoman how much the sapphire was!"  
  
Trowa: [glares] "Well how was I suppose to know you like sapphires!?"  
  
Karma: [hits him with a pillow from the couch] "YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO KNOW BECAUSE I'M YOU'RE WIFE! I GUESS YOU DON'T LOVE ME LIKE I THOUGHT YOU DID! [runs into the bedroom and slams the door]  
  
Trowa: [hits his forehead] "Nice one Barton....."  
  
Wufei: [feels sorry for Trowa] "Don't worry, Trowa. You aren't the only one who's done that.1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how  
  
little we care about you."  
  
Trowa: [knocks on the bedroom door] "Honey I really want to talk to you. Please open the door.."  
  
Karma: [opens the door, eyes red from crying] " What?"  
  
Trowa: [gives her a blue box] "Open it."  
  
Karma: [opens it to reveal a beautiful pair of sapphire earring with a tear- drop shaped crystal with a blue rose in it on a satin choker] "OHHHH TROWA! How did you know I wanted this too?" [hugs him]  
  
Trowa: [smiles] "I didn't. It just reminded me of you. I'll always love you."  
  
Karma:" I'll always love you too." [kisses him passionately]  
  
Every-one: ^_______^"HHHOOOOWW SWWEEETTT!"  
  
Kis: [comes stomping in after a horrible day at work]  
  
Duo: [looks concern] "What's wrong?"  
  
Kis: [grumbles] "Nothing..."  
  
Duo: [shrugs and turns to walk away]  
  
Kis: [glares] "That's it? You're just going to walk away?"  
  
Duo: [confused] "You said nothing was wrong."  
  
Kis: [glares more] "Does it like nothing's wrong!?"  
  
Duo: [rubs that back of his neck then sighs] "Tell me what happened."  
  
[Kis goes into a detailed, long account of the day]  
  
Wufei: [falling asleep] "What? Oh..1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle."  
  
[Mala AND Quatre watching sopas in their living room]  
  
Mala: [looks confused] "Why is Mary going with Brad?"  
  
Quatre: [sighs] "Because she's in love with MARK for the EIGHTEENTH TIME!"  
  
Mala: [glares at him] "I KNOW THAT!"  
  
Quarte: *_* "Then why do you keep asking that question?"  
  
Mala: [gives him a 'duh' look] "If I keep asking that question maybe she'll change her mind!"  
  
Quatre: [falls off the couch]  
  
Wufei: [blinks] "I saw the episode!" [thinks about what he just admitted] "The onna made me watch I swear! Damn....-_-; 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear."  
  
Relena: [throwing cloths out of her closet] "WHAT SHOULD I WEAR!" Heero: [pacing backwards and forwards] "ANYTHING DARLING!" Relena: [runs out of the bedroom to glare at him] "ANYTHING!?"  
  
Heero: [puts fake smile on] "Were just going to the movies. We're NOT going to Paris!"  
  
Relena: [sighs] "Fine. If you want me to look like an old maid that's just fine....."  
  
Heero: [glares at her] "JUST HURRY OR ELSE WE'LL BE LATE!!!"  
  
Wufei: [rolls his eyes]"She tried the 'Old maid' excuse on you too....is there a website were you onna get together and laugh about us men and give you're secrets to other onnas?" [sighs] "1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really."  
  
Relena: [smiles smugly] "Make the TONS of websites Chang!"  
  
Gboys: o__0;  
  
[The guys are in Quatre's mansion talking]  
  
Karma: [upstairs with the girls] "Let's go spy on the guys."  
  
Kis:[smiles evilly] "Yeah lets."  
  
[The girls sneak quietly to the kitchen]  
  
Quatre: [laughs] "No the worst thing is when they ask you 'what are you thinking?'."  
  
Trowa: [snickers] "I answer the first thing that comes to mind..."  
  
Duo: [wiping tears from his eyes] "And that would be?"  
  
Trowa: [looks around] "Navel lint..."  
  
Guys: [crack up]  
  
Heero: [laughing in a weird sorta way] "No no....shotguns...."  
  
Duo: [clutching his stomach from laughter] "FOOD!"  
  
Guys: [laughing harder from the memory of their wives faces]  
  
Girls: [glaring]  
  
Kis: [gives Duo a look that would kill] "Why I autta...."  
  
Relena: [tapping her foot] "Let them have their fun....for now."  
  
[The girls sneak back up to plan their revenge]  
  
Wufei: [laughing at the girls and guys] " Haha talking about their wives out loud is a BIG mistake. .1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks."  
  
[Back at the house]  
  
Girls: [calling in fake sweet voices] "OH BOYS!"  
  
Guys: [sighing] "Yes dears.." [comes out of the kitchen and outside]  
  
Girls: [soak them with water] "HAHAAAAAAAA"  
  
Trowa: [glares at Karma] "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!"  
  
Karma: [looks back at the rest] "THIS!" [sprays him with more water]  
  
Quatre: [blinks at Heero] "What just happened here?"  
  
Heero: [sniffles from the cold] "We got hosed Quatre. We got hosed."  
  
(A/N: -_-; From the Mountain Dew commercial. I watch too much tv.)  
  
Duo: *_* "Ya think they we're listening to are conversation?"  
  
Trowa: [shakes head] "I don't think..I KNOW."  
  
Wufei: [burst out laughing] "HHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
  
  
Guys: "1. You have enough clothes.& 1. You have too many shoes."  
  
Girls: [glaring at them] "LIARS!"  
  
[Duo and Kis watching some chick flik in French]  
  
Duo: [nodding off]  
  
Kis: [crying] "Oh Jean-Paul!"  
  
Duo: [wakes up] "HUH DID I MISS THE FIGHT SCENE?"  
  
Kis: [raises a eyebrow] "This is a romantic movie, Du-bear. Not a gory one."  
  
Duo: [settles back down] "Damn, oh well."  
  
Kis: [looks at him warily] "You weren't falling asleep were you."  
  
Duo: [asleep] *SNORE*  
  
Kis: -__-; "I'll take that as a yes..."  
  
Wufei: [wakes up] "What? Oh..1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't  
  
really matter what they're saying anyway.)"  
  
Karma: [takes out a quiz from Glamour] "Trowa why don't we do this quiz together?"  
  
Trowa: [reads the title] "How to tell if you're man is susceptive to cheating?"[reaches for it] "We don't need this garbage."  
  
Karma: [puppy dog eyes] "Please? With sugar on top?"  
  
Trowa: [gives in] "Okay."  
  
[An hour later]  
  
Karma: [glares at him] "THE RESULTS SAY THAT NOT ONLY WILL YOU CHEAT ON ME, YOU'LL CHEAT WITH YOU'RE BESTFRIEND'S WIVE!"  
  
Trowa: [sighs] "It's just a cheap test.."  
  
Karma: [not listening] "IF YOU EVER CHEAT ON ME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN I SWEAR I'M KILL YOU AND...." [rambles on and on]  
  
Wufei: [hits forehead] "Dumb move Barton. Are you ASKING for a divorcee? 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take  
  
the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz."  
  
Trowa: [glares at Wufei] "Shut up Chang."  
  
Karma: [still rambling] "AND FURTHER MORE...."  
  
Wufei: [sighs] " Well that'z it! Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.  
  
Quatre,Trowa, Duo,Heero: [glares at him] "LIAR!!!!"  
  
Meling: [comes in] "Hi you guys..."  
  
Karma: [glares at Wufei] "You might want to scroll up to see what you're husbands being doing all day...."  
  
Wufei: [slowly tries to sneak out]  
  
Meling: [reads incredibly fast] "MISTER CHANG! YOU GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!"  
  
Wufei: [puppy dog eyes] "BUT DARLING!!!"  
  
Meling: [grabs him by the ear] "You're coming with me Mister...and couch duty for a month!  
  
Duo: [makes a face] "Oh that's rough man..."  
  
Wufei: [sniffles] "Pray for me....."  
  
Guys: [nod their head solemnly]  
  
Girls: [stuck their tongues out] "HAHAAAAAAAA!"  
  
Karma: "OKAY MINNA! R&R! AND BE NICE TO YOU'RE BOYFRIEND OR GURLFRINDS! ^___^!"  
  
Minion 2: KARMA OWNS NUTTHING EXCEPT THIS[holds up pot of sickly gray peas] REVIEW OR ELSE YOU'LL HAVE TO EAT IT...ALL OF IT! PEACE MINNA-SAMA! 


End file.
